Falling
by losTInsidemYOwnheaD
Summary: As I glance at a wall across my room, I'm looking over the faces starring back at me from my newspaper clippings, and wondering why I don't cover my wall with pictures of something, anything else. My stomach churns, and my head spins. Deathfic Repost


REPOST, I gave my account away LONG time ago, so I'm reposting this outta boredom. This is like from the beggining of last year. It's over a year old...

_A/N: I'm sitting in my little cousin's room, writing my first Fic, with the door barricaded because said cousin and his older-by-one-year brother are both at the screaming/scratching/biting/pulling-your-hair-out-until-you-go- nuts stage in their lives (the younger one is advanced for his age), and I'm the only target at the moment because both their mom and my mom are locked in my aunt's office listening to seventies music on the highest volume setting (Siblings! Both sets are insane. It makes me so glad I'm an only child). Not to mention I've got the Flu (Aren't the holidays just wonderful ?).I'm asking you to put up with the fact that this will most likely be really bad, and send reviews so I can get better at this writing thing. Narrated by Robin in present tense. Doesn't end like you think it does._

_Disclaimer: I don't even own a life._

_'Robin's thoughts' "speaking" action/noise Time (at least a few minuets) passing ------_

* * *

Falling

_'This room is so dark. It's freezing in here, maybe you left the air on.'_

As I glance at a wall across my room, I'm looking over the faces starring back at me from my newspaper clippings, and wondering why I don't cover my wall with pictures of something, anything else. My stomach churns, and my head spins. I've sat down on my bed, hoping that'll get my stomach to calm down. 'Stupid, you should be in the living room with the rest of the team!' I jump back, but my head is swaying, and I have to sit back down. Wrapping myself in a blanket, I've laid down. _'You're so weak'_ My heads giving a nasty throb. _'How could you let a stupid, little bug send you to bed? It's only 3:27 pm. You should be working, beating Cy's high score, something!'_ I hate that little negative part of my brain, but it's saved my life before so I haven't shut it out, yet.

"Duuude! How'd you beat me!"

"Don't you mean," Cy's voice changes to imitate B.B.'s voice, though badly. "Duuude! How'd you beat me for the twenty-thousandth time!"

hard laughter

_'Cy actually finds that funny?'_

crashes

_'Maybe, but B.B. doesn't'_

"Not again" Raven's voice sounds thoroughly annoyed, if you ask me. "I was trying to read here."

"My friends! Please stop this fighting!" She sounds distressed.

_'Shame, she's got such a beautiful voice.'_

Shocked, thoughtless pause. That was a different little voice.

_'Just what the heck were you thinking? I mean, were you even thinking at all?'_ And we're back to the negative one. Other parts of me want to jump in at that. I must be an interesting character, looking from the outside in.

_'You shut up! He had every right to think that'_

_'But it was stupid! She'll never like him!'_

That hurt.

_'Says who!' _

_'Of course she likes him! Who wouldn't?'_

This has gone on for a few minuets, and you can still hear sounds of a fight coming from the living room, as well as from my brain. Not to mention my stomach hurts like hell. Maybe I should take some Tylon...

"STOP THIS FIGHTING!"

Another shocked pause, but this one fills the entire tower.

I can just see the guys staring at her in my mind's eye.

"Now, if you would sit back down and enjoy this movie with me."

Scrambling noises

"That is better."

I've honestly never thought she could shout that loud. Well at least it's gone back to just the negative voice, and for some reason I'm saying that like it's a good thing.

_'Does that sound beautiful to you?'_ I'd like to shout "shut up!" at that part of me, but I don't want anybody to come in here to check on me, I couldn't stand having somebody get worried. My head is pounding. I think, yawn , I'll take a nap. I'm pulling off gloves, cape, and boots

_'You shouldn't!'_

and ignoring that little voice, I'm pulling off my mask.

I'm screaming, I can't even tell you why. My throat is tearing from yelling, but I'm still going.

_'Shut up, you idiot! Someone will hear you!'_

I've calmed down, and now I can hear somebody running down the hall.

_'See? I told you so.'_

Oh, If that voice had a neck I'd be strangling it right now.

Door slides open

"Robin? Are you alright?" It's her, and she sounds worried.

"Star? Oh, yeah, I just had a bad dream."

"Oh!" She sounds pretty surprised, I wonder wh..

_'You idiot! Not only did you take your mask off, but you forgot to put it back on!'_

_'Oh crap!'_

The rest of the voice are saying in unison. I'm searching all over my bed for it, my hands are flying all over the place. Now she's standing next to me.

"Huh?"

"Here." She's holding my mask. "It was on the floor."

"Oh, um, thanks Star." She's smiling at me now. "What is it?"

_'You're blushing you idiot'_ Crapity

"Blue" She's still smiling.

"Blue?" Still blushing.

"Your eyes."

"Oh" I look like a cherry tomato at the moment.

The smiles fading off her face. "I'm sorry, I should let you rest." Now she's backing out of the room. "Good Night"

"G'night"

The door slides shut. Crapity, crap, crap, crapid.

_'You are such an idiot'_

Doesn't that voice have something else it can call me?

_'Wait a sec. What did she mean "Good Night"?'_

The clock reads "11:34pm".

_'You were out for over eight hours?'_

My heads throbbing again, and my stomach is protesting to sitting up.

_'Ok, Ok lay back down.'_

I'm watching the clock. It just changed to "11:35pm".

"11:5..."

I'm groaning, well, it's better than screaming. The clock reads: 2:12am.Turning my head to see the clock was a bad idea. My stomach reels, and by the time I make it to the door that leads to my bathroom, my mouth is full of bile.

I've spent about six minuets in here, gagging on and off. That little voice just will not shut up! 'You pathetic little weakling! This is great, just great! The mighty leader of the Titans worshipping the toilet!' I've stopped throwing up, and have laid down on the floor of the bathroom. The tile feels cool, and soothing against my forehead.

My eyes are open again, and oddly enough, instead of bathroom tiles, I see the ceiling of my bedroom.

_'How'd you get here?'_

Gurgling noise

_'Huh? What the heck?'_

B.B.s sitting in a chair next to me, asleep. There's a piece of paper pinned to his shirt, and it's covered with Cy's sloppy handwriting.

_'You'd think someone who's half computer would be neater'_

The note reads as follows:

_1/5/04_

_Yo, B.B.,_

_Me an' tha' girls went to bust a bank robbery. Be back in a bit, and he'd better not get worse on your watch. Bring ya back some pizza if Star lets me. (Man she's flipping out)._

_Cyborg_

_P.S. Did I mention the part about him NOT getting worse?_

_'What's that mean, "1/5/04"? Last I checked, it was the day after New Year's '_

I've brought my watch to my eyes.

_'Oh you imbecile!'_

Guess it found something else to call me.

_'You slept for three days.'_

My stomach and head are complaining again.

_'Well duh! You haven't eaten or had anything to drink for three..'_

You know, for once in my life I was happy to throw up, it shut up the voice. I made it to the bathroom in time to spill my guts everywhere

_'Only you could still be throwing up bile after three days.'_

Bile. I never want to hear that word or see that hideous yellow again! But I've got other problems to think about, like why I'm so sick, and why didn't the guys wake me up so I could take myself to the hospital? Something on the floor catches my eye. It's the front page of the city newspaper. Paper reads as follows:

_Citywide Epidemic  
By Linda Schneider_

_The recent outbreak has caused more than 27 deaths this week alone. City hospitals are overflowing with victims of this unexplained illness. Doctors haven't been able to find as cure. What caused this and what can you do to  
prevent becoming sick? Continued on page A6._

_'Well that explains a bit'_

Don't know how long I've been sitting here, don't care either. I've been gagging and coughing on and off for however long it's been. I feel extremely dizzy, and my vision is blurred. It's not the mask, I took that off again. It was drenched in sweat. The little voice shut up a good while ago. Guess it doesn't think it can make me feel any worse.

It came a few seconds ago. A feeling I knew, I'd been trained to not accept it. Oh, How I hate that feeling! It's the same feeling you get while you're falling. Let me explain. You know when you fall, there's that moment when you realize you're falling, but you haven't hit the ground yet. Now, normally, when you fall you have two choices, one, you can try to stop it, like with your hand (or in my case a grappling hook), or two, you can just let yourself fall. In some cases though, you can't stop it at all, and you know it. It's scary, and it's called helplessness. Oh God I hate that feeling! I know it way to well. I get that feeling whenever I think about my parents' deaths, how I was never much use as a sidekick, how Slade threatened my friends' lives, and countless other times. I couldn't do anything about it! What had made me hate that feeling even more, is that it actually scared me.

_'Scared, humph, weakling.'_

That feeling is stronger than ever, but now it's different. All those times before, I'd fought it, but I can't this time, and I know it too. I've laid my head on the floor again, and through the open door I can see the wall I plastered with pictures of people I hate.

I'm reaching out my hand to grab the newspaper, I've already got a pen in my utility belt. The message I've begun to scribble is as follows:

_1/5/04_

_Hey guys,_

_I'm sorry for giving up like this, but I'm to tired to fight again. Please don't be mad at me, and please tell my dad what happened. You've never met him but he calls me on my communicator once a day, so I'm sure you'll catch him. I've heard you talk about him before B.B., so don't be too surprised. BTW, Cy, remember that game I took away because it kept you up for four days in a row trying to beat my high score? Well, it's in the closet under the trunk, and the cheat code for level seven is "right, right, left, up, X, square". B.B., please don't get upset that I died on your watch. Raven, your favorite cape, you know the one that disappeared? Cy hid it in the cupboard behind Star's pudding mix. Star? Don't hate me for this, but I just wanted to let you know you're everything to me. I love all of you like a family, and hope you keep saving lives._

_Best wishes, luck, and love, Dick a.k.a. Robin_

I've left the note near the door. I left my mask with it.

"You know," I'm talking into the air.

_'idiot' _

For once it sounds like that voice doesn't mean what it's saying, "I wish I'd covered that wall, with pictures of things and people I'd cared about." and as I close my eyes, ruby hair and emerald eyes burst into my mind. I smile. I guess I'm content to have her be the last thing I think about.

* * *

The End

A/N: Well, I guess since it's what the computer says, that's the end. Sorry for all offences. (Well no I'm not. I a really rude girl who had detention set for after Christmas break since the beginning of November for talking back to the typing teacher. Your day of reckoning is at hand Mr. Crawford, I'm coming back with a fully prepared explanation as to why you totally SUCK!) Please send reviews, flames and all. If I get at least two reviews, I'll write more, and won't that be just great. smirk Anywho, the little ones have left for their dad's house, so I'm gonna go down and see what I can do about this Flu. Bye.

P.S.: I'll be writing an epilog.


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